What's Going On?

I wish i could understand better what is going on in me... with me. And
perhaps the issue isn't even really to try to figure that out. In a few
months, i'll be done pastoring Mt. Pleasant. Although there has been a lot
of struggle, I have genuinely enjoyed it. It's not even really so much a
matter of enjoyment as i have a tremendous peace within that we have, for
the most part, done the job called us to do. There have been a lot of
problems, errors I have made, errors others have made. There is so much
more that needs to be done for and in Mt. Pleasant. I believe there is a
lot more that God has for this congregation - not just in terms of things
being "fixed," but a genuine work in the community. It's been there for
over 100 years. There's something God has been and is doing. May your
Spirit empower them to be faithful to you and serve this community.

Yet what are we do to? Where are we to go? What is the Lord preparing us
for? What is his call? Sometimes i think that i'm not really suited to
pastor. Making "cold contacts" is so beyond my comfort zone... but is that
something i must do? I love to talk about the things of heaven and
eternity, things holy and divine, to encourage a person or a handful in
faith and faithfulness to God. But i'm terrible at long term work -
counseling and instruction that must be given over and over. I'm so easily
frustrated by people who appear to give only lip service and not much, if
anything, else. But am i any different?

I admit to having some kind of "fantasy" about starting a church... but i
don't want to start one with an attitude of "I'll show them how to do church
RIGHT!" It seems to me that there is much in the BIC that is exactly what
the world - what this USA society - needs... but there is so much that seems
to militate against the BIC living up to what i thought it was. If the BIC
just give the world what it wants - a gospel that is "comfortable," worship
that "fits," prayer that is "easy," then we offer then nothing more than
Ronco-ized spirituality.

To see the church genuinely gripped by the Spirit, to be engaged with
brothers and sisters who would compromise nothing for themselves but
lavishly dole out grace to all who fall, to be connected to the Church
utilizing the means of grace that seem so obvious - the Word, prayers,
baptism, the Eucharist, marriage, icons... to somehow genuinely connect
with both Catholics as well as Anabaptists... to speak out against this
evangelical spirituality that seems as energized as a swiftly moving creek
with about as much depth... to think and to meditate and contemplate
spiritual reality... to simplify and give graciously, generously,
sacrificially to the rest of the Church, to the community and to the world
in the name of Christ... to love with an unrestrained, irrational,
illogical, incredulous, uncompomising, self-denying love.

O God, lead me, lead us. I want in me all that you're doing. I want in
your Church the full expression of Christ. Help me tune my heart to your
vibrations even if - and perhaps especially if - that means i must detune
myself to the world's pitch.

Jim
The best work one can do is to glorify God.
Colossians 3:17